AP English Literature Exam Reading Day One: "Foilization"

Note: I have been cross-posting these notes on facebook, so if you're an avid facebooker, I apologize for the repetition.

Some of you know that for the third year in a row I am participating in the AP English Literature exam reading. This year the reading is being held in Louisville, Kentucky, and thousands of English teachers and professors from around the country have gathered to read almost a million essays AP English Literature students wrote for their exams this year. For eight hours a day for the next seven days we will gather in a freezing cold conference center to read and score some of the most abysmal writing by the (supposedly) best literature students in the country.

The highlight, of course, is the stupid, ridiculous, and hilarious gems of literary insight culled from these essays. Back by popular demand from last year, I offer these gems to you for your reading pleasure (since mine will be so very minimal for the next week or so).

I am grading question number three, in which students are permitted to use any novel to answer the prompt. This year, the prompt requires them to identify "foils"--minor characters who serve to enhance, establish, or emphasize traits of a major character. Needless to say, "foil" has already caused some serious foibles. Aluminum. Tin. "Foilization". And, of course, much "foiling."

Today was only a half day of reading, but here's the best of what I have for you so far:

"In Shakespeare's well-known novel, 'Othello'..." (Almost a Ph.D. in English and I have never read a single Shakespeare NOVEL. Imagine that--and they're so well-known!)

"Dr. Frankenstein is cold, unloving, disloyal, and enlightened."

"And it was all simply by being honest, but evil."

"Kate then seems like an awful jerk and it's no wonder no one wants to marry her."

"The relationship between Jack and Ralph would mostly be a hate one."

"You need characters in novels to get the meaning of books." (Aha.)

"Claire illuminates the meaning of 'Farenheit 451' because she is the embodiment of the meaning of 'Farenheit 451'." (RIGHT.)

"In 'The Iceman Cometh' the classic use of foil is exemplified." (I can only assume this is the covering of leftovers, but I could be wrong.)

"It's difficult to find one thing more likely to ruin a relationship than the accusation of murder." (Seriously.)

"Adele was also popular with other ladies, perhaps because she was so fond of the expected lifetyle of the wives, which will be referred to as wifestyle."

And this last may be the strangest thing I have ever read in an AP test booklet (which is really saying something, especially considering that I have found money, pornographic drawings, grocery lists, and football plays in them before):

"Within ourselves sleep many guilts. Many doubts, many fears, many lies. Looking in we view past their snorting, snarling heads and catch only the tips of their horns in the flowerbed of ourselves. But reflected in others, a cold chilly breeze to wake us, we suddenly turn ourselves to shield our own perspectives; and deny."

Perhaps the strangest part about it--it was the last paragraph in an otherwise very average essay about 'Death of a Salesman.'

More tomorrow from Louisville. In the meantime, work on your "wifestyle."